Best Funny Captions For An Instagram

Funny Instagram Captions 

  • I used to think I was indecisive, but now I am not so sure.
  • Don’t give up on your dreams. keep sleeping.
  • How do you call a pig that does karate? Pork Chop
  • I am not lazy, I am just on save energy mode.
  • Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.
  • Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

Best Funny Captions For An Instagram

  • Normal is boring
  • Folks, I don’t trust children. They’re here to replace us.”
  • The more you weight the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe eat cake.
  • Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re probably drunk.
  • That awkward moment when you’re wearing Nike’s and you can’t do it.
  • Life was much easier when apple and blackberry were just fruits.
  • I made a huge list for today. I just can’t figure out who’s going to do it.
  • Please God, if you can’t make me thin, make my friends fat.
  • I walk around like everything is fine. But deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.
  • Life doesn’t have any hands, but it can sure give you a slap sometimes.
  • An apple a day keeps anyone away if you throw it hard enough.
  • Some days I amaze myself. Other days I put my keys in the fridge.
  • During the day I didn’t believe in ghosts. At night I become a bit more open-minded.
  • At night I fall asleep. In the morning I can’t get up.
  • Sometimes I wish I was a bird. So I could fly over certain people and shit on their heads.
  • This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.
  • Cinderella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life.
  • Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, they’ll start using it.
  • Life is very complicated. Don’t try to find answers because when you find the answers, life changes the questions.

100+ Funny Instagram Captions for Friends, Couples and Selfies ...

  • I hate it when I’m singing a song and the artist gets the words wrong.
  • Well, well, well. Look what finally decided to show up. Hello Friday!
  • I may look calm, but in my mind, I have killed you three times.
  • Seeing a spider in my room isn’t scary. It’s scary when it disappears.
  • That awkward moment when you see twins fighting and one of them calls the other ugly.
  • There is no angry way to say bubbles.
  • Don’t interrupt someone working intently on a puzzle. Chances are, you’ll hear some crosswords.
  • I am a ninja. No, you are not. Did you see me do that? Do what? Exactly
  • You are one in a melon.
  • I tried to embrace my inner child today and the little asshole bit me.
  • Run like you stole something.
  • I hate it when I gain 10 lbs for a role and then I realize I am not even an actor.
  • Dear life, when I said, “Can my day get any worse?” it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.
  • My life is a constant battle between my love for food and not wanting to get fat.
  • There are two rules in life. 1. Never give out all the information.
  • What do you call a bear with no ears? EARS!
  • Best friends. Because anyone else heard our conversations we’d end up in the mental hospital.
  • After Tuesdays, even the calendar goes WTF.
  • The fridge is a clear example that what matters is on the inside.
  • Nothing is lost until your mother can’t find it.
  • If there would be an award for being lazy, I would send someone to pick it up for me.
  • For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles.
  • Last name Ever, first name Greatest.
  • I was going to make myself a belt made out of watches, but then I realized it would be a waste of time.
  • Nobody is perfect. My name is Perfect!

Funny Instagram Captions for Selfie

  • Look at these muscles.
  • Salty but sweet.
  • Say cheese…sticks!
  • But first, let me take a selfie.
  • Sending this selfie to NASA…because I’m a star!
  • I believe in the selfie that believes in me!
  • Take a ride on my energy.
  • Shameless self-promotion is an underappreciated art form. Let’s fix that.
  • Life is better when you’re laughing.
  • I’d rather laugh with the sinners.
  • Posting this to make everyone else feel better about themselves. You’re welcome.
  • My life’s purpose is to be a cautionary tale for others.
  • Dare to be a doughnut in a world full of plain bagels.
  • To be old and wise, you must first be young and stupid.
  • Coffee and confidence.
  • Sizzling hot!
  • “Time to witness the handsome!” (Mobile Legends)
  • I’m a selfie lord. Bow before your king!
  • Did I make your heart skip a bit?
  • Real men don’t take selfies. Ironic, isn’t it?
  • My skin and bones have seen better days.
  • I may not have a six-pack, but I like to think of myself as sexy in my own way.
  • I know that looks aren’t everything, but I have them just in case.
  • 50% Savage. 50% Sweetness.
  • Wanna know what else is bigger than my smile? My heart.
  • Vanity is the new trend!
  • New look, same mistakes.

45 Best Instagram Captions for Couples - Cute Couple Captions

  • Just a pic of me being an idiot.
  • Wanna see my guns?
  • I didn’t choose the thug life. The thug life chose me.
  • Good boy or bad boy? You decide.
  • Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy!
  • In a world full of trends, I want to remain a classic.
  • Don’t let your eyes be blinded by my handsomeness.
  • Don’t mind me. I’m just flexing.
  • Who’s a good boy? I am!
  • I woke up like this. (Because I fell asleep in this getup and makeup.)
  • This girl is on fire! No really, my muscles are burning from all the exercising I did.
  • Sunshine mixed with a little hurricane.
  • I sparkle from the inside out.
  • Life isn’t perfect. But my hair is!
  • Always classy, never trashy, and a little bit sassy.
  • I don’t always surf the internet, but when I do, eyebrows!
  • Stress doesn’t really go with my outfit.
  • This princess needs no prince!
  • Confidence Level: Selfie with no filter.
  • Some people grow up, I glow up.
  • “Who is that girl I see, staring straight back at me?”
  • I’m too glam to give a damn.
  • Crazy hair, don’t care.
  • This is the most magical picture you’ll ever see in your life.
  • Catch a glimpse.
  • Why be moody when you can shake yo booty?
  • I’m a selfie royalty. Now bow before your queen!
  • How much do I weigh? One hundred and sexy!
  • Friday, my second favorite F word
  • Life isn’t perfect…But my Hair is! #selfieaddict
  • I didn’t choose the thug life, the thug life chose me.
  • When I was Rome.. I did what the Romans did.
  • I got back with my Ex…Box 360
  • Lost in the world that doesn’t exist.
  • Today I will be as useless as letter g in lasagna.
  • You only drink diet soda? You must be so healthy.
  • The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.
  • The moment when she says you’re cute.
  • If we could only turn back time…
  • tight jeans, loose morals
  • pathetic and asthetic
  • life is tough and so are you
  • chin up, buttercup
  • nothing gold can stay
  • only fools fall for you
  • try again

Funny Instagram Captions for Couples

  • Love is friendship set on fire. In a good way…
  • You take me out of my comfort zone without making it uncomfortable.
  • Romance is the glamour which turns the dust of everyday life into a golden haze.
  • I am a romantic fool, no doubt about that.
  • You make me happy in a way no one else can.
  • You are not only my partner, but you are also my best friend, my partner in crime…
  • I want you today, tomorrow, next week, next year and for the rest of my life.
  • Only with you, it’s special.
  • You’re the avocado to my toast. And I love Avocados!
  • If someone cares about you, you won’t ever have to wonder how they feel, they’ll constantly remind you.
  • I love you more than chocolate.
  • When you look at me, when you think of me, I am in paradise.
  • The world is a book. Wanna read it together?

100+ Funny Instagram Captions for Couples | TurboFuture

  • My favorite part of the day is going to bed with you and to wake up next to you.
  • I still remember our first kiss.
  • I love you more than yesterday and less than tomorrow.
  • Your flaws are perfect for the heart that’s meant to love you.
  • Together is my favorite place!
  • A beautiful woman delights the eye; a wise woman, the understanding; a pure one, the soul.
  • With you, it’s twice the fun and half the trouble.
  • There is only one happiness in this life, to love and be loved.
  • I want to be with you until my last page.
  • I think you are suffering from a lack of vitamin me.
  • My best love was chocolate. Then you came around.
  • You are my today. And all of my tomorrows.
  • “I love you. You annoy me more than I ever thought possible, but… I want to spend every irritating minute with you.”
  • There’s nothing much to see here. Just a pair of weirdos madly in love.
  • I love you even when I’m hungry.
  • Is it weird that I think that we’re even weirder together?
  • I love you more than pizza.
  • I need you more than I need air.
  • Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?
  • You’re all mine, and I’m not sharing.
  • Let’s fall in love and fall in bed together.
  • Keep calm and give me a kiss.
  • Let’s face it, we’re both addicted to this thing called “love.”
  • How can I face my problem if my problem is your face? I mean, it’s so attractive and mesmerizing!
  • If you’re lucky enough to find a weirdo like this one, never let them go.
  • We’re both willing to risk the cooties.
  • Together, we’ll put Hershey’s out of business! That’s how sweet the two of us are.
  • You make me smile so much that my face cramps up.

Funny Instagram Captions for Beach

  • “The beach is my happy place.”
  • The beach is definitely calling me 🏖
  • May you always have a shell in your pocket and sand in your shoes.
  • My birthstone is seashell.
  • My favorite paths lead me to the beach.
  • Where the pavement ends and the sand begins!
  • I followed my heart and it led me to the beach!
  • Just point me to the beach 
  • In need of some beach therapy? 😍
  • I wouldn’t mind 🙌🏼All day. Every day.
  • “Don’t worry, beach happy.”
  • “Life’s a beach.”
  • “Seas the day.”
  • “Resting beach face.”
  • “Happier than a seagull who just scored a french fry.”
  • “Stay salty.”
  • “Paradise found.”
  • “Sandy toes, sun-kissed nose.”
  • “If you’re not barefoot, then you’re overdressed.”
  • “In need of vitamin sea.”
  • “If you need me, I’ll be at the beach.”
  • “Beach please…”
  • “Eat, beach, sleep, repeat.”
  • “Ocean air, salty hair.”
  • “Namast’ay at the beach.”
  • “You, me, and the sea.”
  • “Aloha beaches.”
  • “For shore.”
  • “Happy as a clam.”
  • “I’m sorry for what I said when I wasn’t at the beach yet.”

Paradise Beach Quotes

  • “I love you to the beach and back.”
  • “Catch you on the next wave.”
  • Happiness Comes In Salty Water
  • Beach; a place of relaxation, rest and tranquility (when the kids are sleeping
  • Does the beach make you smile?
  • Livin salty in paradise. 🏝
  • So just go with the flow 
  • How to have a beach body: 1. Have a body 2. Go to the beach
  • I only feel like me when I’m by the sea.
  • EVERYBODY IS A BEACH BODY🏖
  • I will dance with the waves alright! 
  • Beach, please 
  • Catch Me by the Sea 
  • Dear beach, I think of you all the time 
  • Drink in my hand, toes in the sand! 🌴
  • If there is a heaven, I am sure there is a beach attached to it 
  • B.E.A.C.H = Best Escape Anyone Can Have.
  • A little sand between the toes always takes away the woes. 🌴
  • Eat 🍨 Beach 🌊 Sleep 😌 Repeat 
  • happiness is everywhere, just choose to see it. 
  • Relax 🧘🏻‍♀️
  • Sometimes all we need is the beach 
  • A lot of things in life are overrated, but not the beach!
  • A beach can’t solve everything but it comes close enough
  • It doesn’t matter where you go in life as long as you go to the beach.
  • The sea makes me feel like me!
  • We all need a beach day every day
  • Always have a shell in your pocket!
  • Beach time is all we want! 🏖
  • Never get to old to enjoy, relax, and play on the beach.
  • My favorite dreams are of warm beach days.
  • I crave a love so deep the ocean would be jealous.
  • Dear ocean, thank you for making us feel tiny, humbled, inspired, and salty all at once.
  • I’m going to the beach and never coming back. 📷
  • If there’s a will there’s a wave 
  • That’s what I call retiring in peace.
  • All I need is the beach and I’ll be happy!
  • I have waves and sunshine on my mind!

Funny Quotes For Christmas

  • Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.”
  • “Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.”
  • “My husband’s idea of getting the Christmas spirit is to become Scrooge.”
  • Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.”– Dave Barry
  • “Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and receipts for all major purchases.”
  • “I haven’t taken my Christmas lights down. They look so nice on the pumpkin.”
  • “This holiday season, no matter what your religion is, please take a moment to reflect on why it’s better than all the other ones.”
  • “Nothing’s as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas.”
  • “What I like about Christmas is that you can make people forget the past with the present.”
  • “I hate the radio this time of year because they play “All I Want For Christmas Is You” like, every other song. And that’s just not enough.”
  • “A lovely thing about Christmas is that it’s compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.”
  • “I love Christmas. I receive a lot of wonderful presents I can’t wait to exchange.”
  • “That’s the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.”
  • “Do give books – religious or otherwise – for Christmas. They’re never fattening, seldom sinful, and permanently personal.”
  • “Aren’t we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas. You know, the birth of Santa?”
  • “Who’s the bane of Santa’s life? The elf and safety officer.”

50+ Christmas Instagram Captions [Funny & Clever] - IG Captions

  • “The one thing women don’t want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.”
  • “Christmas, here again. Let us raise a loving cup; Peace on earth, goodwill to men, and make them do the washing up.”
  • “Christmas is the season when you buy this year’s gifts with next year’s money.”
  • “He who has not Christmas in his heart will never find it under a tree.”
  • “A good holiday is one spent among people whose notions of time are vaguer than yours.”
  • “Next to a circus there ain’t nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.”
  • “Oh, for the good old days when people would stop Christmas shopping when they ran out of money.”
  • “A Christmas shopper’s complaint is one of long-standing.”
  • “I left Santa gluten-free cookies and organic soy milk and he put a solar panel in my stocking.”
  • “Mentally I am ready for Christmas, financially I am not ready for Christmas.”
  • “Christmas is a magical time of year… I just watched all my money magically disappear.”
  • “Even before Christmas has said Hello, it’s saying ‘Buy Buy’.”
  • “I get a little behind during Lent, but it comes out even at Christmas.”
  • “Christmas to a child is the first terrible proof that to travel hopefully is better than to arrive.”
  • “The best Christmas present I got from my husband was a week to do whatever I wanted.”
  • “From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist it would be necessary to invent it.”

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